What Kind of Boss are You? Read this to make the real decision.
“Leadership is a matter of how to be, not how to do.” Frances Hesselbein
A few weeks ago I wrote an article about how to be a good boss. I am motivated to write about this topic because of recent conversations with friends.
One friend is “retiring” (moving on) because she perceives her boss as mean, unreasonable, and has created a toxic environment for the whole team. Another younger friend is actively seeking employment because he wants to get away from his bad boss who never has a positive word to say to anyone.
Then I was listening to a podcast interview with Adam Bryant on Modern Career, a former writer for the New York Times, who interviewed CEOs and senior leaders for years in a column called Corner Office. In fact, he turned his interviews into a book by the same title.
In the interview, Bryant said if he could wave a magic wand he would get rid of three things: racism, inequality, and bad bosses!
I agree.
I don’t think most people wake up in the morning and say, “Today I am going to be a bad boss!”
But how do we know?
My answer to that question is feedback. We need to collect feedback to know how we are doing so that we can grow. It is about personal continuous improvement.
As I was interviewing Tami Simon, founder, and CEO of Sounds True — a company devoted to sharing wisdom, I asked her how she creates an environment where people want to work.
Simon said there are three key elements for leaders to remember in creating a positive work culture.
- Feedback: Giving and receiving feedback is a gift. People only grow if they seek feedback. People need a reason to change. They have a weekly short survey so voices can be heard. Be transparent. Discuss the undiscussables. Simon said at the end of each weekly leadership meeting they talk about “what’s under the table that we need to know.” There is an every other week newsletter to share what is going on so that everyone is on the same page.
- Celebrate wins: In the newsletter, they have a “Cheers Section” as a way of celebrating, acknowledging, and appreciating others. The goal is to lift up each other.
- Support Wellness: They have Wellness Wednesdays so employees get an hour of paid time to do whatever makes them feel healthy. They also get a paid day off each quarter as a reward for being well. It is a twist on “sick days.”
Simon said she seeks feedback because “I don’t want anyone to suffer because of me and my behavior.”
Steven Nguyen reviewed Professor Robert Sutton’s book titled Good Boss, Bad Boss, and made these conclusions.
Good bosses need to have the right mindsets by embracing five beliefs:
(1) Following Lasorda’s Law? Finding the balance between over-managing (or micromanaging) and under-managing. Good bosses understand when to exert more control vs. when to back off, and when to coach vs. when to discipline.
(2) Got Grit? Good bosses think of managing in terms of a marathon, not like a sprint. Effective bosses can communicate a sense of urgency without treating things like one long emergency.
(3) Small Wins? Having long-term goals is important, but good bosses also know that the day-to-day efforts and small accomplishments also matter. The best bosses are those who can break down problems into bite-size, achievable pieces for their employees.
(4) Beware the Toxic Tandem? The Toxic Tandem is made up of the boss’s obliviousness (to what their employees need, say, and do) and self-centered ways and the idea that followers closely watch their boss’s words and actions.
(5) Got Their Backs? Good bosses protect and fight for their employees. These bosses take the heat (from upper management) when their employees screw up.
The soft stuff is the hard stuff.
“Bosses shape how people spend their days and whether they experience joy or despair, perform well or badly, or are healthy or sick.” Robert Sutton
These five beliefs are about being emotionally intelligent. Paying attention to employees. Managing one’s own emotions.
Nguyen summarizes Sutton’s book by saying:
“Good bosses have their fingers (and ears) on the pulse of what their employees are thinking, feeling, and acting. These bosses know that to be successful they have to spend time and energy to reading and responding to employees’ feelings and actions. Good bosses also possess self-awareness, being highly aware of their strengths and weaknesses while striving to overcome pitfalls that may sabotage their performance.”
Sutton warns in Good Boss, Bad Boss that there is no magic formula to what makes a good boss, and anyone who “promises you an easy or instant pathway to success is either ignorant or dishonest — or both.”
Good Boss, Bad Boss ends by asking and suggesting the audience think about two questions. These two questions should be something good bosses focus on daily:
(1) Would people want to work for you and would they choose to work for you again if given a choice?
(2) Are you in tune with what it feels like to work for you?
